Dear Dena
Letter from Kate
Dear Dena
Hello Dena! Thanks for opening your work up to us in this way. I find that my writing changes given my mood and the demands of the day. I am in a period of transition in my life currently. I am searching for that right time, right place and right path forward. I am currently contemplating sending in my resignation for the end of June to move to Lillooett—all without a job there… at 57 years. This is for sure a jump of grace!
Again, thank you for offering this opportunity. With gratitude, Kate.
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Dear Kate
Sometime ago I e-mailed you for another Dear Dena asking for a question about your contemplated move, but received no answer. You would get much more out of it if you did, and also much sooner. Perhaps you have already made the move and are deep in getting settled, and understandably too busy. Since you have no question about your move, I suppose you simply wish some comments, so here goes:
The first thing I notice is of course the change in slant. The first part is predominantly upward – objective mood, business-like, stating a fact. The next part is right slanted (opening up emotionally to people, being responsive). The last sentence is upright again (a business-like ending for a letter. Finally, it slants again to the right when you speak from your heart.
If you already made the move, you have what it takes: enthusiasm, strong confidence and will power to make long range goals (strong, long, high on stem t-bars), and good determination to see them through to fruition (long down-strokes on “g” and “y”).
You don’t say what your work is, but you certainly have ability in the artistic and cultural areas (printed capitals, Greek “e” and “s”), but you could also run a business or organization—perhaps one connected with cultural endeavors; you’re intelligent with an analytical and investigative mind (angular and rounded “m” and “n”), intuitive (breaks between letters), diplomatic (tapering letters), decisive (firm word endings), and persistent when necessary (lasso loop in “A”). And you are completely open and honest (no loops or hooks in any “o” or “a”). There is a temper tic on the capital “I”, which means you see yourself as having a temper. But there are no signs of it in the rest of the handwriting, so it seems it is only your view of yourself.
Your faults? Got to have some faults… You’re a little too sensitive to criticism (loop on “d”); you resent someone or something (inflexible beginning stroke on the “c” in “currently”, “contemplating”) and you have rejected someone close, or feel rejected by someone close (lower loop of “f” in “find” ends far left), and you may be taking on too many projects at once (lower loops dangling into line below).
So how did I do? Would love some feed-back. All the best, Dena.
Letter from Female 59
Dear Dena
Thank you for your e-mail in regards to my letter. I was concerned about my 34 year old son and his health. (I’m not a psychic and requested another Dear Dena with a question.)
I have now met my 39-year-old son that I had given up for adoption when I was twenty. It was a wonderful meeting. He is so much like my other two sons in looks and mannerisms. We had a wonderful time together and are at the beginning of a new relationship. My concern is that I can be overwhelming at times and I don’t want him to feel that I am trying to make up for lost time too quickly. He wants a relationship and is open for it. He has little to no connection with his adoptive family.
Do you have any suggestions on how I can handle my desire to rush in and smother him with love!—female 59
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Dear Female 59
You are very people oriented and demonstrative (mostly right to far right slant), so setbacks can make you moody—sometimes wanting to be close, (little space between “rush” and “in”, “I” and “can”, and “I” and “had”); at other times wanting and needing to be alone—(abnormally large spaces between “how I can handle my desire to rush”).
Your intelligent mind analyzes and investigates (sharp angular “m” and “n”) and could be in conflict with your emotions, causing some pessimism (drooping of some word endings in “health”, “mannerisms”, “relationship”, “concern”, “is”, and “female”).
You have suppressed some feeling over the years (squeezed together letters in “wonderful”, “together”, and “relationship” and “female”) and have repressed others (retraced “h”)—so that in communication you may come across as evasive (hooks in “a”), secretive (right loop in “o”)—perhaps insincere (tapering of words).
Something from your past is still playing out in your life today, just waiting for your buttons to be pressed. The clue is in the word “and” in the third line (the inflexible beginning stroke begins way below the line, meaning from childhood)—a feeling of not being appreciated when you give so much of yourself to others. This resentment stroke is seen all over the page, (especially noticeable in the key word “adoption”) and the second last sentence. So you might be a bit defensive, perhaps critical at times (resentment stroke plus analytical thinking).
I think you are overly optimistic (higher upward slant than your previous letter which was merely optimistic.) And yes, you have a tendency to smother. You feel the need to do and give to others (generous endings to words) without thinking the person may not want what you wish them to take or they may not want to go somewhere or do something your particular way (many down-slanting t-bars).
How to handle your desire to “smother” him with love? Put on the brakes. Take it slowly. Your son is already 39 and if he has a serious female relationship, he would resent what to them may be “intrusion” on your part. Yours is a very sensitive, delicate relationship. Take your time to get to know him, remember to respect his boundaries, and you’ll be alright. Good luck!
Letter from Julie
Dear Dena
My father passed away two years ago. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to Mom and me, but intelligent and charming to his friends and acquaintances.
Sometimes when I go for a walk or take a break from my work, I have a memory flash of a time he was hurtful to Mom and me. Can you tell from my writing if this is healthy and healing, a natural part of the healing process, or perhaps indicative of a need to seek counseling?
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Dear Julie
You’re a warm and caring person (rounded “m” and “n”) with traditional values (school taught capitals), who can be responsive to people you trust (right slants)—but who has difficulty being demonstrative with others (slow, careful writing)—afraid of being hurt emotionally (many left slants), repressing some emotions (retraced “m” and “h”) and keeping others in check (upward slant)—thus appearing moody (variable slants) to some people.
On some subjects you’re open and honest (clear “a” and “o”), on others very close-mouthed (retraced “a” and “o”), or very secretive (large right loop on “a” and “o”).
You don’t say what kind of work you do, but you have great manual dexterity (flat topped “r”). With your imaginative ideas (large lower loops) you’d be good teaching arts and crafts for children, especially with your sense of humor (beginning stroke on “m”). Whatever you do, you do carefully and thoroughly, and you would work well with others.
You have an independent mind (short “t” and “d” stems) and choose not to have great expectations or high standards for yourself—feeling practically insignificant (tiny capital “I” in fifth line compared to other capitals). Not wishing to go out of your comfort zone, you lack firm goal-setting for after tomorrow and the future (t-bar placed for day by day goals on a short stem, with dominant middle zone writing).
Though your determination is very good (firm and long down-strokes on “y” and “g”), your willpower is weak (very light t-bars in “emotionally”, “healthy” and “indicative”); too often you lack confidence (very low t-bar in “but”, “hurtful”, and “healthy”)—to the point of giving up (concave t-bar in “but”, “intelligent”, and “this”).
Perhaps you need to use your defiance (buckle on “k”) and stubbornness (wedge in “t-stem”) to assert yourself more (in a nice way) and gain back some self-esteem—not that anyone took it—you yourself gave it away.
As for your question… Your own unconscious is revealing your real feelings. The word after the large space after “ago” is “He was”—(in case you somehow wonder if perhaps you exaggerate that he was verbally and emotionally abusive). Also look at the second to last line; the word after the large space after “perhaps” is “indicative”—meaning you paused—unconsciously fearing it was indicative. You don’t particularly like delving into the past with soul searching (larger left margin than right), but it seems you also feel a need to clear up that part of your life; it seems to be holding you from going forward.
My advice: It wouldn’t hurt to get some good psychological counseling. You could also practice placing a t-bar high and strong on the stem thirty times a night for thirty nights. It will gradually make you feel stronger, more confident in making goals. All the best to you!
Letter from Jillian
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Dear Dena
I am a 73 year-old female who has been on anti-depressants for about 30-35 years with no possibility of ever getting off of them. I am single with a small dog for company; not a lot of support from my family. I have no goals and nothing to get excited about. I just take it one day at a time. Thank you. Jillian
Dear Jillian
I understand that deep depression requiring anti-depressants has a physiological basis, and is most likely genetic. And I feel for you. I know it hurts, and hurts those around you. But I also believe that one’s attitude and belief system can worsen or lessen the depression.
I couldn’t tell from your letter if you were just stating a “hopeless fact” or if you meant for me to read between the lines—to answer a question you haven’t asked. Therefore I sent you an e-mail asking for a question, but have not received an answer.
Time has passed, and I am guessing you want me to analyze the writing to give some clue about your personality for better understanding of the depression. This I can do; I can tell you what your unconscious tells me from your handwriting, and maybe that will be of help. Here goes:
You’re intelligent (rounded and angular “m” and “n”), and could work well (fluency stroke in “f” in “of” and “t” in “just”) in any of the helping fields such as teaching, nursing or secretarial where you deal with people (medium size letters, right slant), for you are generous and give of yourself (ample finals to the right). You have a strong desire to have or achieve either material and/or spiritual (large beginning hooks); you know your abilities—you have confidence in yourself (t-bars showing realistic goals) and good determination to carry out those goals (good down-strokes on “g” and “y”)—as well as initiative (ending on “t” in “lot”, “not”, “about”, “just” and “at”—a combination of traits spelling the very likely achievement of goals.
These strengths are a lot to be proud of. Not many women especially of your age group show such talent and belief in themselves, or such an independent spirit (short “t” stem). So why the depression (drooping lines)?
What stands out are the large right margins (fear of people and the future); the large space after “a” fifth line, signifying fear about the next two words “small dog” (fear of when your pet finally passes away?); the large space after “my” followed by the word “family” (fear of rejection by family?—lower loop of “f” swings far left, ending in strong downturn (feeling of hopelessness and self pity);and finally the key words after the large space after “goals” which are “and nothing”—meaning fear of having “nothing” (with its ending hopelessly downturned).
But you also blame yourself for whatever (whip-like ending to “to”). I think you are aware that you can be indecisive (feathery endings to words), a little too sensitive to criticism (loop on “d” and “t”), stubborn (wedge in “t” in “take” and “just”), defiant (buckle on “k”); and have a temper (t-bar to right of stem in “excited”)—all somewhat self-controlled (slightly convex t-bars). Also, there are times when you are not completely honest with yourself (left loop on “a” and “o”) and others (right loop on “a” and “o”); communication with loved ones could be better.
People who give of themselves in time and effort, as you do, often feel imposed upon, resulting in a feeling of resentment (inflexible initial beginning stroke to “s” in “single”, “small”, “dog”, “company”, “of” and “support”). Note that some of the strokes begin far below the baseline, indicating the resentment is from childhood and is affecting your relationships today.
Finally, the long upturned endings in “a”, “you”, “years”, “ever” and especially “Jillian” tell me you have a strong yearning for love you feel you didn’t get long ago or are not getting now. And the lower loop in “J” in “Jillian” that slashes through the upper loop of your initial or name, suggests self-defeating behavior. Something to think about.
I assume that you receive therapy under the care of the psychiatrist who prescribes your anti-depressants. As for my advice (besides seeing your doctor)… Perhaps long walks; you like physical activity (lower loop on “p” in “possibility”); I understand it can at least temporarily replace depression—with a feeling of thankfulness for all your blessings.
Letter from Renee
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Dear Dena,
I seem to have a conflict when it comes to female friendships. I long for a close dear friend or friends who value my friendship yet it never seems to happen. I tend to have friends that are very introverted and emotionally sensitive. Consequently they are very shy and tend to be selfish. When I meet women who are more social and extroverted, I get shy!
I never trust that they really want to be my friend. Any insight on this matter would be appreciated. Thank you. Renee, age 39.
Dear Renee
You’re artistic and creative (simple capitals and stick “I”) with cultural interests (figure 8 “g” in “insight”. You’re intelligent (rounded and angular “m” and “n”), and you work efficiently (fluency stroke of “t” crossing to next letter), aided by intuition (some breaks between letters).
You’re independent (short “t” stem) but quite open-minded (many wide “e”) except when it comes to women (very narrow “e” in “female” and “never”) resulting in mild ongoing depression (drooping key words “friendships”, “very”, “this matter” and “Renee”).
But you’re not quite honest with yourself. You rationalize why you don’t have the friends you like (large left loop in “d” in “friend” and “a” in “have” in first and fifth lines, and “a” in “Dena”, “female” 2nd line, “emotionally”, “happen”, “really” and “thank”). I’m not sure from what you wrote if you actually do see that when you are with “extroverts” you become shy just like the friends you don’t like.
The dictionary says “an introvert is a person who is concerned more with his own thoughts and feelings than with the people and things around him, a shy person.” You say you can’t believe they’d want you as a friend; and the handwriting shows fear of the relationship you want. The word after the large space after “my” third line (what you fear)— meaning, in a way you somehow fear friendship with the kind of women you prefer to have as friend (they don’t always turn out the way you expected—or you fear you can’t measure up, be equal.)
I think it’s the latter; you have weak and low t-bars in the key words “conflict”, “it”, and “trust” (low confidence or belief in yourself). As you yourself say “I never trust they really want to be my friend.”
Also the hesitation before the word “appreciation” written with large left margin, tells me it has meaning for you. Not being appreciated growing up could explain the feeling of not measuring up to those women you admire, and might explain the holding onto the feeling of resentment (hooked inflexible beginning stroke in key word “women”)—as well as less often feeling of being imposed upon (inflexible beginning stroke in “seem”, and key words “social”, and “shy”).
My unasked for advice? Simply relax when you meet some woman you’d like as a friend. Forget about yourself and show a real interest in that person. You’d be surprised at the result. I guarantee the shyness will disappear. I was once extremely shy. Now you can’t shut me up.
Letter from Jenn
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Dear Dena
I am going back to school for a career change. I’ve been a forester, a baker, and I am now striving to be a health care assistant. I feel like I really want to do this but I am afraid that I won’t be able to handle the not so nice parts of the job.
I am investing a lot of time and money into this. How can I be sure I am doing the right thing?—Jenn, Female 29 years.
Dear Jenn
You’re intelligent (angular and rounded “m” and n”) and can work efficiently (fluency stroke on “k”). But more importantly, you are a warm, kind, open and honest person (rounded “m” and “n”, no loops on “a” or “o”, medium size writing, mostly right slant);—so I can see why you have chosen to go into the health care field. However, there are signs of conflict.
There is variable space between words, larger in “but I am afraid I won’t be able” and “be sure I am”—meaning you feel you need your own space (like being a forester away from people, or a baker working at night?). Could it be because you are self-conscious about something (last hump of “m” higher), and independent-minded (short “t” stem in “that” and “right”)?
Furthermore, though you use diplomacy (tapering of words e.g. in “assistant” and “investing”) you stubbornly (wedge in “t” in “right”) like to do things your own way (many t-bars slanting down with feathery end), making it difficult to work with people.
Other possible hindrances to your success and happiness in the new field are the following: you procrastinate (many t-bars left of stem), can give up when the going gets rough (concave t-bars in “want”, ”the”, and “right”), and have a tendency to depression (falling key words such as “career”, “feel”, “won’t” and “into”).
With weak will power (light and weak t-bars) in setting your goals, and weak determination (curved down-strokes on “g” and “y”) to carry out your goals, the chances of success and happiness in your new venture are not great.
That is, unless you raise your confidence and belief in yourself, which is at present quite low (low t-bars in key words “that”, “want”, “right” and “lot”)—and come to terms with the “not so nice parts of the job” (perhaps working with body excretions and ornery patients), or the responsibilities that go with it, which you would rather not take on (narrow loop in “I”). You may decide that the positive aspects (financial security for your later years) could balance the negative. But it seems that with your traits you are unsuited to this particular field.
However, if you’re already in the course for some time, my advice is to complete it, even if you want to quit and do other work. If nothing else it could discipline you, and even come in handy some day, when you feel differently.
Letter from Tanya
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Dear Dena, I am writing in regards to my work in Kenya. Three years ago my husband and I travelled to Kenya with my 15 year old son. I was deeply moved by the richness of the surroundings, by the sights, the music, the children, and by the struggles that the people there meet with such dignity everyday.We plan on returning at the end of this year. My question is how I can best serve the epeople there.. I am fundraising for entrepreneurs training for women & youth and am wondering if I should actually bparticipate in the training or bif my role will be more as fundraiser and storyteller. Any insight you can offer is greatly appreciated.—-Tanya
Dear Tanya
In my opinion, rather than train, and finally become an entrepreneur (which I understand to be the business of making a profit), you should do what gives you emotional satisfaction—and I think it’s writing and communicating (figure 8 “g”. You have artistic and creative interests (simple printed capitals, except in the capital “I” and capital “T” of your name) which tells me you have a conflict about using those creative talents in a serious way.
This being a website, I will not go into great detail to show my reasons. I will make it short.
There are things in the way of your being successful as an entrepreneur, as well as a creative writer or artist: procrastination (t-bar to left of stem), a tendency to give up (some weak concave t-bars), and less than strong determination (downstrokes on “y” slightly curved).
On the other hand, what could be useful positively in writing, bringing passion to it, is your stubbornness (wedge in “d” and “t”), temper (t-bar to right of stem), as well as your anger (temper tick on the first upstroke that joins the downstroke in capital “I”—but by adding another stroke to make a kind of loop you take responsibility for it.)
Becoming an entrepreneur, I believe, is rationalizing (many large left loops in “a”) why you don’t write about your experiences in Kenya, why you are beginning to lose faith in achieving your dreams (endings on “y” beginning to turn down).
There is much to being a fund-raiser (it’s a kind of entrepreneurial business) and much to being a good story-teller (a speaking writer ). I just think you would be more emotionally satisfied with concentration on writing and giving talks.
Letter from Colleen
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Dear Dena
I have been a self-employed writer and PR consultant for over 15 years. For some time I’ve found the type of work I do no longer challenges me. I would like to refocus my business into more creative and lucrative areas. As part of my information gathering strategy I wonder if your analysis of my script might reveal a hidden talent or unrecognized skill I could develop into work that jells more with my personality. You may also see characteristics I am unaware of that are holding me back.
Any facts you can glean from this sample will be most valuable. Thank you, best regards, Colleen, female 56.
Dear Colleen
Please forgive me for taking so long to get back to your letter. I have been swamped with work. So instead of a full Dear Dena I will give you a quick answer to your question, and if it’s all right with you it can go on the website. Otherwise it will take a long time to get into the magazine. Let me know.
If you want to refocus your business to be more lucrative and at the same time more creative, you are asking a lot. You would be lucky to find them together. Chicken sexing is lucrative but not very creative. You wouldn’t want to be a chicken sexer. You are very meticulous in everything you do, and you’re very good with detail. Some of the things you might do that come to mind are:
Writing ads for products of large corporations (lots of money)
All forms of editing for writers.
Researching for writers
Indexing for authors.
Librarian assistant
Forgery expert.
Write children’s books –demand for them, so easier to publish
Write romance novels—demand for them, so easier to publish.
Not Connected to Writing:
Working with anthropologists and archeologists
Restoring paintings, photography retouching, etc.
Working in a museum
Work in a kindergarten.
Work as a certified public accountant
Any work that requires a great deal of patience, accuracy, as well as loyalty. You’d be good with children. And you could undertake any of the above suggestions, because you have ambition (many beginning hooks to words), pretty good will power and goal setting (t-bars mostly high and firm), as well as good determination (good downstrokes on “y” and “g”).
However, you are not suited to any business that requires a lot of risk (you are too careful), nor one that requires being “on stage” selling yourself. You prefer to work behind the scenes whether for yourself or others. So this rules out some careers.
You’re good with your hands (flat-topped “r”). Are you an artist? You also have an aesthetic sense (balance on the page).What kind of writing do you do? You like people (right slant) but you’re a little self-conscious (last hump on “m” higher), and quite selective of friends (small loop on “y”).
Let me hear from you, Dena.
Dear Dena
Thank you so much for your analysis; much to think about. I have no objection to its being used on the website; I won’t have to wait several months to see it in the magazine.
As to your questions about my art and writing: I paint when I can and have studied art in the past. Professionally I write non-fiction and do public relations (degrees in journalism and public relations). I do editing for authors and love any type of research project. I have 15 years experience in medical administration, and 15 years as anentrepreneur. Archeology is also an interest. I love to travel and explore new places. Writing need only be a component of the work.
Hard one to nail down, isn’t it? I look forward to anything more you can tell me. Any more questions, please be in touch.
Yours truly, Colleen.
Dear Dena
Do you want your handwriting analyzed by Dena Blatt
Graphoanalyst (Handwriting Analyst)?
Follow these detailed instructions. Your letter will
either go in our magazine or on our website.
Write ‘Dear Dena’,
in script, on unlined paper, using your usual pen, black ink preferred.
If you naturally print, send both printed and script. Your letter can
be about anything as long as it’s about your issues or your relationship
to somebody or something. You must ask a specific and sincere question
which requires more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Keep it short and to
the point. Dena will answer in light of what she sees in your handwriting.
Please, no fortune telling requests – she cannot foretell the future.
Include your age and sex on the paper because neither are discernable
from handwriting. On the other side of the letter put your e-mail address,
in case Dena needs another sample or has to contact you.
When submitting a letter to Dear Dena, mail your letter to
True Blue Spirit Magazine,
PO Box 17,
Gabriola Island, BC
V0R 1X0.
Be sure to put it to the Attention of Dena Blatt.
